Development over Consolation | Nerd Health

Stephen Wilson Jr. was a scientist working for Mars, Inc. (Yeah, the Sweet firm).

In the future, his boss pulled him into an workplace and mentioned one thing that modified his life:

“Stephen, you’re about to get promoted.”

Usually a trigger for celebration, this was as an alternative meant as a warning by his boss.

In a previous life, Stephen had been a guitarist in a small indie rock band. He additionally spent his evenings writing songs.

His boss knew Stephen was a rattling good songwriter, and the place he actually belonged.

He instructed Stephen in regards to the golden handcuffs:

“You’re in line for a promotion and so they’re grooming you for the subsequent degree.

And also you’re type of at a crossroads.

As a result of for those who take [the promotion], like I took it 30 years in the past, your desires of being a songwriter, they’re gonna be gone. That is going to devour each little bit of you.

Proper now you’ll be able to write songs and do that job, however 6 months from now I’m undecided you’re gonna have the ability to. So I simply need to offer you a warning.”

That tiny voice in Stephen’s head, that had been there for years and years, began to get louder.

6 weeks later, with that inside voice now at a deafening quantity, he put in his 2 weeks discover, which confused everybody (besides his boss and his spouse).

He began bartending and ready tables to make ends meet whereas honing his craft, making an attempt to get publishing offers in nation music…whereas getting rejected for not writing ​“bro nation” songs​:

He was instructed, “you write REAL songs. We will’t do nuthin’ with that…”

Years later, after some modest success writing songs for different musicians, he lastly labored up the braveness and expertise and clout to begin recording his personal songs.

And final yr, he lastly put out his debut album, Son of Dad, which Rolling Stone known as among the finest albums of 2023.

Not too long ago, Stephen put out a ​jaw-dropping cowl of Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me,”​ which I’ve listened to roughly 10,000 occasions over the previous month.

(Severely, please watch this video. It’ll offer you goosebumps!).

Golden Handcuffs vs Uncomfortable Growth

From 2008-2010, I additionally lived a twin life.

I had my day job at Sixthman, serving to promote and produce floating music festivals. However I additionally spent my nights and weekends engaged on a bit web site serving to nerds get match.

My boss April and my mentor Andy (who owned the enterprise) each knew the place my coronary heart was; they inspired me to chase the uncomfortable way forward for making an attempt to make Nerd Health into my profession.

16 years later, we’re nonetheless going robust!

In Oliver Burkeman’s ​4 Thousand Weeks​, he encourages us to ask a selected query when making choices in life:

“The place in your life or your work are you presently pursuing consolation, when what’s known as for is a bit discomfort?”

Asking ourselves “what would make me happiest” will almost definitely lead us in the direction of the quick time period, snug, secure possibility.

As an alternative, we must be considering which path will make us GROW as an individual, or which model will trigger us to SHRINK every week. We in all probability, deep down inside, know the reply to the query, if we’ve got the braveness to ask it.

Burkeman’s recommendation:

“Select uncomfortable enlargement over snug diminishment each time you’ll be able to.”

Yep, generally chasing “uncomfortable enlargement” doesn’t end in a songwriting deal, or a profitable enterprise. I’ve chosen the uncomfortable path and generally issues don’t work out. However that’s a part of the method, and no less than it removes the potential for unhealthy remorse!

Which brings me to as we speak’s mission.

Let’s get snug with being uncomfortable

Let’s chase uncomfortable growth in 2025.

• After we power prepare, we power our muscle tissues to get uncomfortable by lifting heavier and heavier weight – they reply by rising and adapting.
• If we use meals as a coping mechanism after we’re unhappy or indignant or bored, addressing our relationship with meals may be uncomfortable.
• When we’ve got uncomfortable conversations, we will lastly deepen {our relationships} or rise up for the issues which might be vital to us.

In 2025, let’s ask the query:

The place in your life are you snugly residing in consolation and security, when deep down the trail of “uncomfortable enlargement” is what you really want to develop and enable you to get what you really need?

You may not must stop your job instantly, or go all-in on a brand new objective or change…

However it may very well be price asking your self that uncomfortable query.

Life is tough, and alter is tougher.

Uncomfortable.

Scary.

Messy.

However for those who’re keen to say NO to consolation, it may be precisely what you want.

-Steve

PS: ​We’re doing a free 5-day workshop​ for individuals who wish to construct new habits that really stick in 2025, it begins in a number of days!